I am the subject of a McSweeney’s list.
I’m not Pocketnovel’s “ex” so much as “a guy she sent naked pictures to.” Still, well played, Pocket. Well played.
Back to Gawker: has [owner] Nick Denton wished you luck? It is sort of a competing site. I talked to Nick yesterday morning, and he was very undermine-y, in a delightful way—which I enjoy coming from him, because he loves this stuff. This gives him a little more drama in his day and is very exciting for him, so I’m happy to provide him with that. And Nick doesn’t see anybody as a threat.
I am, once again, losing my will to parse.
You’ve heard it all before, and at this point, Our Lady of Introspection has sunk far below the caricature water mark and is now an openly mocked joke - like bringing a braying donkey to a pig party. One Handmaiden is still circling the cereal bowl, and the other jumped ship and is riding the wave of “thank God you aren’t Julia” to her dreams of a sponsor-laden tumblr.
I hesitate to say never again, but I can only jump a beached shark so many times before my leather jacket is shot to shit. They aren’t even interesting enough to parse, not that they ever were. However, I pride myself on giving notice, and even if I can’t give you my precise date of resignation, I will soldier on, for your convenience, as always ribbed and bulleted for your pleasure.
Our Lady of Introspection
- Stop me if you have heard this before. Julia senses that Mary might coopt the Gawker media cycle (on account of Mary’s imminent but not officially announced departure), she emails the NYP (as does the ‘agent’ - who surely isn’t earning his 10%) to plant an item about her hooking up with the newly acquired QB. The giveaway was the “she was just drinking water.” Jules, you do need a PR person, as you lack basic common sense on the simple art of planting an item. Also the ‘fact-checking’ of the NYP, wondering if I recognized the email address of the tipster. Uh, yes.
- An Easter ensemble fit for Halloween. In my universe, your mother didn’t say a word about the get up, just to outclass you in church and silently signal to the congregation and the internet that they, too, have personal challenges .
- Oh, there was a Cancer Dan post, a reprinted email. Knowing from personal experience that he abhorrs public attention where she is concerned, that is as classy as the Easter outfit.
- She tagged along to a “social networking” conference, which is hysterical, as she tried to shut down rebloggers and commenters on her own blog (which she calls a business). The only communities she inpires are those that skewer her, and she can’t draw more than a couple of dozen comments on Gawker anymore. NS fans number about 50 on FB. She only ‘favorites’ her own twitter posts. Her site should be “nonsocial”, but then again, the monniker was kind of close.
Handmaiden of Tragic Rebounds - Meghan
- Nothing. No really, nothing. She’s pretty, can’t spell or write, doesn’t have anything to say, and hitched her wagon to the wrong donkey. Rumors of her spine and intellect were vastly overstated. She just doen’t have anything better to do, and now, she is the unequivocal ‘hot one.”
Handmaiden of Passive Aggression - Mary
- Mary’s new venture was announced, and as set forth above, JA tried her damndest to spin the news cycle for the few hundred people who cared.
- Mary struck back, with her own Gawker media grab, again, misunderstanding that she was preaching to about two dozen people who might read her blog. I will always love her passive aggressive digs, as she was featured on Gawker for absolutely nothing a few days earlier and she proudly linked it. Which had to piss JA off, as JA can’t get any Gawker love these days.
- Unfortunately, one can only ride the “fuck yeah, you aren’t Julia, tell us some JA dirt” for so long. To her credit, she seems to be doing something a little different in the blog department, even if she thinks that she is the first person on the internet to accept shwag for shill. And by different, I mean different than JA, not different by a ton of bloggers with much more talent and a much larger, if not as high profile, readership.
- Mary is after airline and car sponsorships, not because she has built a genuine relationship with her readers, but because she is moving to LA and she needs transport there and a car when she gets settled. And yet, I sort of dig that about her. Go big (I am predicting a green car) or go home.
- In all sincerity, whether I parse again, I am leaving Mary off the radar for the foreseeable future, unless she does something really goddamn stupid (crosses finges). She emerged as the most sef-aware of the three, despite a high handicap of ignorance and self-importance, and I give credit where it is due. Also, I am going to have drinks with her soon.
How awesomely fucked up it is that Mary Rambin left Nonsociety to start MoreThanMary.com, which is essentially going to be Nonsociety, just without Julia and Meghan. It’s the greatest, bitchiest move ever.
You know what though? That design? Oof.Also check this out.
LAST NIGHT IN DODGE: THERE’S GOT TO BE A MORNING AFTER EDITION
Last check-in goes to Lawrence…..
Katie B. ! single glistening tear … Haven’t been this sad since the last night of eworld 11:07AM
Kate M. @ The Concept Farm ! Last day of work. Sadly, last day of DB more momentous. 11:11AM
Brian V. ! this is my goodbye. I remember being the only person in Hudson county using it in 04. It’s been a great run. See ya folks! 11:14AM
Caroline M. ! Series finale airing at 9PM tonight! Has anybody read the spoilers?! 11:14AM
Alice H. ! I remember back in january 2006 when heather forced me to sign up! She was my only dball friend and we checked in everywhere together! Sad face! 11:18AM
Nick M. ! Byee Dodgers 11:26AM
Nick M. ! Now you’ll only be able to know what I’m doing on, Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook… 11:27AM
Rex S. ! Au revoir, mon amie. 11:37AM
lisa e. ! Rex, you make goodbye sound so dirty. Is your phone on iVibrate again? 11:39AM
Lockhart S. ! Dodgeball shuts down on day Phish reunites: proof of a larger, universal order? 11:44AM
Amanda D. ! If I could, I’d love you all. See ya on 4SQ! 11:55AM
Rachel S. @ CBC HQ in Toronto ! Dodgeball, an international phenomenon. 1:54PM
Dens C. @ Chipotle ! oh, 4sq how do you not know of my secret love! 2:18PM
Alice H. @ Cafetasia ! Eating before the big night! 5:38PM
Rachel S. @ LaGuardia Airport ! Good to be home. Excited for tonight, Dball newbie tho I am. 5:49PM
Kate M. ! where to, Ms. Waxler? 6:37PM
Alice H. ! Kate, is this a trick question? Is your pants the right answer? 6:38PM
Kate M. ! Alice, your pants are always the answer. 6:40PM
Nick M. @ Slainte - 304 Bowery St. ! Kelly’s Birthday!! 7:00PM
Brian V. @ Slainte 7:00PM
Kelly R. @ Slainte 7:02PM
Alice H. @ Slainte 7:08PM
Kelly R. @ Slainte w/ 3 others ! Come to the back! Its crazy crowded 7:09PM
Rex S. @ Slainte w/ 4 others 7:33PM
Soraya D. @ Slainte w/ 5 others 7:35PM
John C. @ Slainte w/ 6 others ! happy birthday KR 7:49PM
Dens C. @ The Smith w/ 3 others ! clam chowder = bad idea before a dance party 8:00PM
Ash K. @ Slainte w/ 7 others 8:19PM
Caroline M. @ Slainte w/ 8 others! and it begins! and ends! 8:33PM
Peter F. @ Slainte w/ 9 others 8:40PM
Dens C. @ Bowery Electric ! first! ps. death of dball party. sniffles 4eva! 9:03PM
Nick M. @ Bowery Electric w/ 5 others ! At the Dodgeball Party! 9:08PM
Kate M. @ Slainte w/ 10 others 9:13PM
Katherine L. @ Bowery Electric w/ 6 others 9:14PM
Caroline M. @ Bowery Electric w/ 7 others ! LAST NIGHT IN DODGE 9:14PM
Brian V. @ Bushwick Country Club 9:14PM
Alice H. @ Bowery Electric w/ 10 others ! The end begins! 9:29PM
Caroline M. ! Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end… 9:30PM
Soraya D. @ Bowery Electric w/ 11 others 9:33PM
Katie B. @ Zaytinya ! SO sad to miss dball! in DC this wknd 9:35PM
Katherine L. ! Shouting so I can get on the screen of radness. 9:38PM
Alice H. ! Its your last dodgeball, the meme is dirty confessions! Make it good! 9:38PM
Caroline M. ! Dirty confessions? Uh oh. 9:41PM
Rex S. @ The Magician 9:42PM [Ed. note: Rex is taking a virtual tour of prime dball hotspots]
Peter F. @ Bowery Electric ! Former Remote Lounge, an early-0s in-person social networking bar. Ironic. Dont you think? 9:42PM
Rex S. @ Sweet and Vicious 9:42PM
Rex S. @ Loreley 9:43PM
Ash K. @ Bowery Electric w/ 16 others ! so that happened. Fun while it lasted. 9:43PM
Rex S. @ The Marshall Stack 9:43PM
Kate M. @ Bowery Electric w/ 17 others 9:43PM
Rex S. @ Schiller’s Liquor Bar 9:43PM
John C. @ Bowery Electric w/ 18 others ! Goodbye Dodgeball! it’s been emotional. 9:43PM
Lawrence L. ! If microcelebrities lose a medium, do they become less famous? 9:48PM
Caroline M. ! This night is gonna end when we’re damn well ready for it to be over… 9:54PM
Nick M. ! I can’t wait to see this up on the projector 9:58PM
Alice H. ! Sara zucker is sad that she just got to know dodgeball as it is ending! 9:58PM
Katherine L. ! Caro, I think it won’t be night anymore when we are damn well ready. 9:59PM
Alice H. ! Oleary thinks he’s going to get ass from being up on this projector. 10:00PM
Lawrence L. ! How will Camille know where I’m lying about being when I’m trying to dodge people? 10:00PM
Kate M. ! Since you’ve been gone… I’ve checked in for the last tiii-iime, I’m so movin’ on, yeah yeah…. 10:00PM
Alli M. @ Bowery Electric w/ 28 others ! what’s with the trance music 10:02PM
Soup @ home Dodgeball confession…I’m sending this 10:02PM
Alli M. ! soup s is here!!!! [Ed. note: Not.] I thought he was the singularity 10:04PM
Andrew H. @ Bowery Electric w/ 31 others 10:04PM
Kate M. ! A Chris O’Leary is a version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a of a hustla… 10:04PM
Nick M. ! PENIS 10:06PM
courtney l. @ Bowery Electric w/ 35 others 10:06PM
Soraya D. ! The mayor of bowery electric is the person who starts this dance party… 10:09PM
Rex S. ! I’m actually a virgin. 10:10PM
Caroline M. ! This one time at band camp, Nate W. and I made out. True story. 10:10PM
Mitch M. ! is that what clear glasses mean? 10:11PM
Alli M. ! Soraya I would like to announce my candidacy 10:11PM
Soraya D. ! Do it mooney 10:12PM
Alice H. ! My whole life has been a lie! I actually like girls! 10:12PM
Andrew H. ! I’m afraid. I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. 10:17PM
Caroline M. ! Scott Kidder hates fun 10:18PM
Mitch M. ! I’m so scared I’m napping! 10:19PM
John C. ! Is whiskey a good drink? I might try it some time. 10:19PM
Dens C. ! hey this things just like Twitter! cool beans! 10:19PM
Kate M. ! worst pickup line ever: “what’s your username?” 10:20PM
Alice H. ! Caroline, remember, krucoff is CAPTAIN NOFUN 10:20PM
Caroline M. ! lkrucoff hates fun 10:21PM
Kevin K. @ Bowery Electric w/ 40 others ! it’s so hard today goodbye to yesterday 10:21PM
Rachel S. @ Bowery Electric w/ 42 others ! You people shout a lot! 10:23PM
Mitch M. ! fuck napping!!! 10:23PM
Caroline M. ! Ladies, Travis M. is here and he’s cute! Hit him up! 10:23PM
lisa e. ! Hey, what’s going on tonight? Anyone out & wanna meet up for a drink? 10:31PM
John C. ! I’m running for mayor. 10:31PM
Chris F. @ Bowery Electric w/ 48 others 10:32PM
Caroline M. ! Breaking: Some nerds want to get laid 10:34PM
Soraya D. ! Gino reyes is NOT on dodgeball.com ! Hrmmmmmm. 10:34PM
courtney l. ! Not quite ready to say goodbye! 10:35PM
Brian V. @ Bowery Electric w/ 49 others ! 50+ ppl yet? Or soon… 10:37PM
Soraya D. ! Gino does not belong here …. 10:39PM
Kelly R. @ Bowery Electric w/ 52 others! Rip Dodgeball 10:40PM
Lawrence L. @ Bowery Electric w/ 53 others ! FTW 10:41PM
meghan k. @ Bowery Electric w/ 55 others ! Dodgeball broke the bar 10:44PM
Rachel S. ! Dibs on the leftover t-shirts! 10:45PM
janelle g. ! adieu, mes amis. je vais a la gloire! 10:48PM
Dens C. ! 63 people at one place = new dball record! 10:50PM
Caroline M. ! 2 of the 3 dballers I’ve made out with live on the same street. 10:51PM
Dens C. ! I made love to will mcd on dodgeball 10:52PM
Ash K. ! I feel so close to all of you right now. 10:52PM
Nick M. ! Is anyone paying attention to these anymore? 10:52PM
Mitch M. ! basically, the world is taking all our fun away 10:53PM
John C. ! just 3 caroline? Nice. 10:55PM
Rachel S. ! Caro and Soraya look cute in maroon 10:56PM
Soraya D. ! Just pocket dialed quatar airways. This is a PAR-TAY. 10:57PM
Amanda D. ! Me neither, Chris O! Nor my blog/Tumblr/Twitter. I hate all social media! 10:57PM
Mitch M. ! hary, I have 4 y shirts reserved!!! On my way!!! 10:58PM
Chris F. ! Always wanted to write ‘poppycock’ on a dball message! 11:04PM
Alice H. ! Faile that’s bullocks! 11:05PM
Lindsey G. ! dear Dodgeball you made my life better and worse all at the same time. Xo 11:09PM
Mitch M. @ Bowery Electric w/ 66 others 11:09PM
courtney l. ! OMG S and C I love the Jazz! Jealous to the max! 11:10PM
Chris F. @ Bowery Electric w/ 67 others ! Yay! 11:10PM
Ash K. ! lindsey I thought u were letting it go, too cool to check in 11:10PM
Mitch M. ! ok, 2 people leave the fucking party so we can get in 11:10PM
Ashley G. ! sick in bed but watching babs in “The Way We Were” ah memories… 11:12PM
Lawrence L. ! I may have slept with several women here. So what? 11:13PM
Elizabeth S. @ Bowery Electric w/ 70 others 11:15PM
Dens C. ! would it kill people to take their shirts off???? Jesus people! 11:19PM
Soraya D. ! Jess and Blakeley get a room!!! 11:20PM
Andrew H. ! Ashley G. is missed! 11:22PM
Dens C. ! dodgeball users are awful dancers. 11:24PM
Brian V. ! I iz all photo’d out 11:24PM
Nick M. ! Check out tonight photos on www.RandomNightOut.com 11:25PM
Caroline M. ! Maroon is my color! 11:26PM
Dens C. ! song request: something the ladies can dance too! pick It up kK! 11:26PM
Chris F. ! Maroon might be my color, but I I’d colorblind! 11:27PM
Alli M. ! kk how bout some beyonce?I want to see Meghan do the dance 11:28PM
Dens C. ! JJ no pants = 20 euros! 11:28PM
Alice H. ! goodbye 2006! 11:28PM
Caroline M. ! Dodgeball saved my life! 11:29PM
Brian V. ! I want to kiss pretty girls 11:30PM
Kevin K. ! DJ = thirsty 11:31PM
lisa e. @ Bowery Electric w/ 74 others ! Upstairs is the new downstairs according to Velvet Rope Dude 11:35PM
Rachel S. ! Dodgeballers are hot 11:36PM
Caroline M. ! Worked all week long, now the music is playing on our time! 11:37PM
Chris F. ! I think everyone looks pretty tonight. 11:37PM
Chris F. ! Been fun, all, see you all on 4SQ! Look forward to buying you a drink soon… 11:38AM
Lawrence L. ! Can someone make a diagram of my personal life and post it here? I need more complications. 11:38PM
janelle g. @ Barcade ! old habits die hard 11:45PM
Mitch M. @ HI WALL, HI MOM! 11:47PM
janelle g. ! the 28 ppl blocking me on dodgeball “can go fuck themselves” 11:49PM
Lawrence L. @ The Village Idiot ! R.I.P. My favorite place and R.I.P. Dodgeball. 11:49PM
Dens C. ! 10 mins till we re all Brightkite users! 11:50PM
Brian V. ! Dodgeball 4 eva. Dens’ house of satisfaction. 11:55PM
Caroline M. ! Rachel S. = hottest dballer 11:55PM
Caroline M. ! Play ‘the middle’ please! 11:56PM
Kelly R. @ Bowery Electric w/ 75 others ! Thx 4 the mmrs. 11:56PM
Ash K. ! everyone check in from their favorite now defunct venue. 11:56PM
Soraya D. ! Meghan keane is looking foxy tonight. 11:57PM
Soup ! Dick Clark is coming to countdown the Dodgeball drop 11:58PM
Kelly R. @ Bowery Electric w/ 76 others ! Fuck google 11:59PM
Andrew H. ! Dennis gets all sentimental 11:59PM
Dodgeball Friends, the time has come to say goodbye to good ol’ dodgeball. Thx for 5 years of good times & spilled drinks. XO & dball4eva! –d/a/hh 11:59PM
Lawrence L. @ Village Idiot ! My heart will always be there. 11:59PM
Dodgeball The Dodgeball SMS service has been discontinued. See www.dodgeball.com for details. 12:00AM
“Grrrr. My Tumblr account won’t stay signed-in on my Blackberry.”
-Whine by Justine Bateman
Thanks for the head’s up, Gawker.
ANATOMY OF A MISSED HANDSHAKE: An Act In Three Parts
One of your Uncle Grambo’s closest friends, the always awesome Lindsayism (or is it LindsayGum?), went to a taping of Late Night With Jimmy Fallon last night. If you watch through the end credits, you’ll see our Linds run through the gamut of emotions as she attempts to shake the hand of the Boyish Wonder. So close yet so far!
(Bonus Microceleb Hottness: That’s Sexy Wet Rexy sitting next to her.)
Hilarious! Caught!
JULIA ALLISON & RANDI ZUCKERBERG’S BIRTHDAY BASH, view more photos from this eventI’m sorry, but after looking at this photoset I am infinitely grateful that I was left out of this one. Our night on Avenue B turned out to be far more rewarding than this appears. I would have liked this sort of thing in second grade. The photos almost deserve blinged-out “Princess!” captions.
I also fail to understand why there was such a tight-lipped attitude about the event. In a crowd where everyone wants everyone in the world to know where they are and what they’re thinking at every second, it’s perverse to see everyone try to keep a silly secret for a change, and good sport to try to get someone to crack ASAP (it’s pretty obvious that I don’t leak things; all the pro writers in town hate me by now). A friend of ours who isn’t involved in such things asked plainly, “Well why don’t you just show up?” Good question. With a good answer: even though Julia Allison plays herself off as the bloggers’ blogger, it doesn’t work like that. If people are betraying their typical garrulous ways for some sacred purpose, it’s good policy to avoid the usual playful subversion.
As it turns out, someone else I admire was having a birthday event on the LES, and a fair number of people who’d been to Julia’s event had travelled down by 11pm. Despite the crowds, a good time was had. It speaks volumes about someone’s adult nightlife birthday party when people are checked-the-fuck-out by 10:30 PM. Might want to work on that, ladies. (The sushi looked VERY appealing, though)
Luckily the 21st Century Depression will make these sort of things passe, so that no longer will radio silence on a Saturday night be deafening. I would be glad to meet Julia next year for her birthday on the LES, and buy her a PBR. If I can get past the velvet rope.
Jason and friend Kenny at Tae Kwon Do practice in 1987 (or so). (via jasoncalacanis)
Hey, so, I guess this is all the rage now, people leaving Tumblr. Right? In the last week or so there have been a number of people who have announced for different reasons that they are moving onto another blog-hosting site and/or who have condemned the social-networking aspect of this site.
So, um, not to be a copy-cat, but… me too.
…
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
…..one aspect of tumblr I’ve never understood — the dramatic exit…..I mean, I get the social-networking thing, and this is a … what? Blog? IM Board? Chat Room Lite? Whatever it is, it’s very enjoyable to be a part of — what’s the old joke: reminds me of granola, a few nuts, some flakes, some crunchy bits you don’t really understand but really like….
So what if the “rage” is to leave? I don’t understand what that means, really. If you’re having a good time, keep posting. If you’re not, stop posting, and stop reading. Why “leave”?
And what’s the point of announcing your intentions? Do you want your followers to beg you to stay? Are you hoping someone can convince you not to go? Are you planning on a triumphant return? I guess I just don’t understand needing that kind of validation.
I enjoy tumblr a lot. I enjoy a bunch of people on here, too, and look forward to their posts. But I don’t expect anyone I follow to give me notice that they’re leaving. You’ve got your reasons, and that’s your business. I may email you if it appears there may be cause for concern, but leave if you want….or don’t. But I don’t need an announcement. Nor will I give one if I ever stop posting. I suspect that, if you stop seeing my posts up here, you’ll all figure out that I’m not posting anymore. It’s not that complicated.
I chalk the whole “announcement” thing up to the GenDrama we live in now. Everything’s an event, or a crisis, or a happening, and needs immediate attention, certification, validation or recognition. But you know what? Life is full of mundane little events that occur, and re-occur, every day. Deciding to stop posting on tumblr, for almost any reason, strikes me as one of those mundane little events that hardly carries the weight or significance some seem to attribute to it.
Of course, that’s just me talking…..opinions vary…..
