Blogebrity: The Next Generation

brianvan: caro: Rex Sorgatz, super genius. and Party Girl.

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 22:43:23 -0500

caro:

Rex Sorgatz, super genius.

and Party Girl.

Urban Demographics

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:11:05 -0500

fimoculous:

Urban Outfitters’ breaks down your shopping list — the narcissist, the name dropper, the party girl. That’s everyone on my list!

Multiple choice! Rex is:

A) The Narcissist

B) The Name Dropper

C) The Party Girl

D) All of the above

taramichelle: GPOYW - Jimmy Fallon edition.

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:57:35 -0500

taramichelle:

GPOYW - Jimmy Fallon edition.

whatcriscilikes: This is the kind of cute I can subscribe...

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:56:04 -0500

whatcriscilikes:

This is the kind of cute I can subscribe to.

soupsoup:supersonicelectronic:

Tumblr people

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:55:07 -0500

candywrapped:

soupsoup:

whatson:dawnowar:

~~love~~ Voted for Obama.
~~are obsessed with cupcakes~~
~~are sad that Pushing Daisies is canceled~~
~~will all go see the Star Trek movie~~
~~and don’t really like winter.~~

I guess i’m not Tumblr people.

not a citizen.

glutens intolerant.

i hated pushing daisies.

fuck star trek.

snowboarding! hellz yes

roar!

Tumblr people

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:54:37 -0500

soupsoup:

whatson:dawnowar:

~~love~~ Voted for Obama.
~~are obsessed with cupcakes~~
~~are sad that Pushing Daisies is canceled~~
~~will all go see the Star Trek movie~~
~~and don’t really like winter.~~

I guess i’m not Tumblr people.

"Here’s something you haven’t heard of and shouldn’t care about."

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 13:15:38 -0500

“Here’s something you haven’t heard of and shouldn’t care about.”

- most bad articles and blog posts, as summed up by the beautifully ruthless editor Paul Boutin. (via nickdouglas)

I love it when people lose their shit on Tumblr.

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 11:19:01 -0500

I love it when people lose their shit on Tumblr.: (via frangry)

Let me explain something.

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 11:18:12 -0500

taramichelle:

I don’t give a fuck.

I don’t give a fuck.

I don’t give a fuck.

I don’t give a fuck.

I don’t give a fuck.

I don’t give a fuck.

I don’t five a guck.

I don’t give a fuck.

Give me your face, I want to stab it.

(via mel-o)

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:43:56 -0500

(via mel-o)

The conundrum I face with the Internet is that someone is bound to show me something I've already seen months ago.

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:42:49 -0500

justine:

vinh:

Do I feign interest or do I tell them they have failed?

My friends have figured out that when talking to me they should preface any internet related conversation with, “I’m sure you have seen it already but…”.

They do this because if they don’t they get a lame response from me, usually along the lines of “oh… yeah… that’s cool…”. My attempts at humouring are quite sad and easy to see through. This is a bit of a problem.

In my darkest moments I have been known to respond with “and you thought you could beat me at the internet!?” followed by an evil mastermind laugh.

alexbalk: She’s very serious about this. I remember one time we...

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:38:35 -0500

alexbalk:

She’s very serious about this. I remember one time we got into a screaming argument about the philosophical underpinnings of dipolar theism and she wouldn’t talk to me for weeks.

Blagg Media To Shutter "Diddy Reblog, Diddy Reblog" In Wake Of Failing Economy

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 13:55:47 -0500

alexblagg:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

November 14, 2008

LOS ANGELES - Alex Blagg, Chairman and CEO of non-existent Blagg Media Group, announced this morning that, after about one week and three posts, he’s pulling the plug on his “Diddy Reblog, Diddy Reblog” Tumblr spin-off. Blagg cited the failing economy and his own general apathy and lack of motivation as the reasons behind his decision.

“Diddy Reblog, Diddy Reblog was gonna be a Tumblr where I reblogged stuff I read online that had to do with Diddy. I dunno, seemed funny to me at the time,” said Blagg this morning at a press conference held inside his brain. He went on, “I guess the reality is that I’m not, in fact, all that interested in writing about Diddy on a regular basis, especially when you consider that I’ve already got my main sparsely-read Tumblr and Twitter blogs to attend to and, you know, work and stuff”.

Blagg launched the project with the hope that it would become the comprehensive clearinghouse for irony-laden online Diddy humor, but quickly came to realize that he was mostly just amused by the “Diddy Reblog, Diddy Reblog” title he came up with for the endeavor, which became increasingly less amusing and clever the more thought he gave it. In addition, Blagg felt that beloved comedian and Internet personality Aziz Ansari already seems to have the Diddy-related humor thing covered with his much buzzed-about Times editorial that may or may not include the term “bitchassness”.

“I’m sad to have to put this project down, but in this economy, who knows, you know? The reality is we’ve got to batten down the hatch and make the very best use of our resources during these tough times, even when those resources are just your time and attention. Personally, I have better things to do,” said Blagg prior to concluding his fake press release then spending the next hour and half watching a livestream webcam of puppies sleeping.

###

juliaallison: oh, hi there! Check out my “salacious” Rocco...

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 13:54:34 -0500

juliaallison:

oh, hi there!

Check out my “salacious” Rocco interview.

PS. It’s not salacious at all.

inothernews: ZERO COMMENTS BECAUSE GAWKER IS BROKEN AGAIN!!! Oh...

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 11:41:55 -0500

inothernews:

ZERO COMMENTS BECAUSE GAWKER IS BROKEN AGAIN!!!

Oh fine, I’ll just go be productive at work.

Sometimes Wednesday is black, too.

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 11:39:23 -0500

luxnightmare:

So this happened. And, as Hamilton says, the comforting thing about Denton’s doom and gloom is that “you know it’s very unlikely that things will be worse than he predicts”—and so it’s especially comforting when, after all the doom and gloom, you get pulled into the conference room and told that you are doing everything you need to, and your site will not go under.

Boobs win, suckas!

Noah Robischon to Leave Gawker for FastCompany.com

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 11:35:16 -0500

Noah Robischon to Leave Gawker for FastCompany.com:

shnayerson:

Okay, that’s it—I’m starting my own media company. There really just couldn’t be a better time, no? Refugees welcome.

shnayerson: Honestly, this is the kind of thing that just pisses...

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 11:34:32 -0500

shnayerson:

Honestly, this is the kind of thing that just pisses me off. I read Consumerist every single fucking day. NOW what the hell am I supposed to do about my significant ETF, 401k, IRA, CD and APR issues? Let’s not even mention the intense gratification we could all be missing without Ben Popken and Meg Marco’s just-so-perfect transcripts of customers WINNING ONE with the CSRs every once in awhile. Please. I may have to go back to knifing the neighbors’ cars.

Your Guide To Holiday Romance

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 14:15:33 -0500

johncarney:

It’s that time of year when even the most independent of lads can get a little desperate for more companionship than one can find in the bottom of a bottle of Jameson’s Irish Whiskey. If I thought it would make any difference, I’d tell you that you should avoid becoming involved with the lasses during this season. It’s just too dangerous, and will almost certainly lead to disaster. But it wouldn’t make a difference. These winter nights are too long and too cold to avoid the urge to spend them with someone shorter and warmer.

So, instead, I offer you this guide to holiday romance. One type of girl to avoid for each day from now until 2009.

1. Avoid any girl who has lots of overly-enthusiastic followers on tumblr. She’s an attention whore.

2. Avoid dating a girl just because she is your favorite bartender. Where are you going to drink when you want to forget her?

3. Avoid girl who tells you she she is on a cleanse. She hates herself.

4. Avoid Kirsten Dunst. She’s a walking time-bomb.

5. Avoid any girl who frequently blog about her sex life. You know how that one goes.

6. Avoid any girl who works for a Hearst magazine. She’s about to lose her job and you’ll have to pay for everything.

7. Avoid any girl who really likes girls who blog about their sex lives. She’s just too lazy to ruin your name right now. She’ll find a way later.

8. Avoid any girl who ever mentions The Box or Beatrice Inn. She has herpes and just wants your for your cocaine.

9. Avoid any beautiful girl who wears ugly glasses. She thinks she’s in a romantic comedy for teens.

10. Avoid any girl who follows you on twitter. She’s already stalking you.

11. Avoid any girl who smells too nice all the time. There’s something strange happening.

12. Avoid any girl who smokes heavier cigarettes than you. You’re already her bitch.

13. Avoid any girl who is a DJ. She’ll make you listen to her terrible music.

14. Avoid any girl who didn’t like “Once.” She’s dead inside.

15. Avoid girls whose clothes are all retro, period costumes. Just trust me on this.

16. Avoid ballerinas. She’s too flexible and you’ll just wind up hurting yourself.

17. Avoid any girl with more tattoos than you. She’ll never respect you.

18. Avoid any girl who is still angry because her last boyfriend cheated on her. You’ll cheat on her too.

19. Avoid any girl who lives within two blocks of you. It’s too soon for that kind of proximity.

20. Avoid any girl you meet in the basement of Lit. That’s also Kirstin Dunst and she’s high as a kite.

21. Avoid any girl with tattoos in Chinese. Unless, of course, she’s from China.

22. Avoid any girl who drives in NYC. She’s already proven she’s a nutcase.

23. Avoid any girl you meet in the bar where you and your friends are watching a game. She thinks she’s figured out guys. She hasn’t. She’ll fuck everything up all the while thinking she’s very clever about men.

24. Avoid any girl who wears jewelry given to her by her ex-boyfriend on your first date. She is still in love with him, and only him, and will still be wondering why no-one else ever gives her anything nice when she’s living with six cats and getting her meals on wheels.

25. Avoid any girl who tells you she hates her ex-boyfriend. She hates herself.

26. Avoid any girl with a bad haircut. She spends enormous amounts of time and money on her hair and if it is still fucked, she’s incurable.

27. Avoid any girl with poor hygiene or too much hair where too much hair doesn’t belong on women. If you ever attempt to help her out on this score, she’ll hate you for it. And then she’ll take all your advice and look great for the next guy she sleeps with.

28. Avoid any girl who is “microfamous.” Her name is Julia Allison and you’ll end up on Gawker.

29. Avoid any girl who has done speed dating, match.com or j-date. She’s got commitment issues, and since you’re an emotionally unavailable alcoholic, neither of you will ever call each other.

30. Avoid any girl on anti-psychotics. She’ll go off her meds one day and plant a corkscrew in your ribcage.

31. Avoid any girl who has dated a website founder. That’s also Julia Allison and you’ll end up on Gawker.

32. Avoid any girl who has rules or tests for men she dates. She should be on anti-psychotics.

33. Avoid any girl who doesn’t drink. Do I need to say anything else here?

34. Avoid any girl who is really, really into tanning. You’ll end up on Hot Girls and Douchebags.

35. Avoid any girl who won’t make out with you in a taxi. She lacks a properly functioning sexual instinct.

36. Avoid any girl whose best friend just got dumped by her boyfriend. Together they are a committee of manhaters and you are the next target for hate.

37. Avoid any girl who tells you she thinks she feels a spark between the two of you. Her mind is trapped in a Sweet Valley High novel.

38. Avoid any girl who talks about her father on her first date. She’ll demand you spend the night at her place but will only want to cuddle.

39. Avoid any girl who won’t kiss you if your breath smells like whiskey. She has oral-purity issues that are undesirable.

40. Avoid any girl who wants to monopolize your time on New Year’s Eve. The night is too wrought with emotions and memories. Spend time with as many different people as possible or else stay home and alternate heroin and absinthe until you pass out at twenty till midnight. Also, she’s probably on ritalin and won’t share it.

41. Avoid any girl who won’t wear a skirt in winter. The winter is too long as it is without having to do without legs. You’ll end up in the stairwell of a Christmas party making out with a girl in skirt.

42. Avoid any girl who cries when she’s drunk. Her self-pity will destroy you.

43. Avoid any girl who you think looks even hotter when she is miserable. You will destroy each other.

44. Avoid any girl who tries to come off as more emotionally unavailable and cavalier about relationships than you are. She’s secretly a tightly wound bundle of need.

45. Avoid any girl you’ve dated before. Pace Friedrich, if the first time is tragedy, the second time will just be worse.

46. Avoid any girl in a headband. She’s a slave to fashion and will try to make you use expensive hair-products.

47. Avoid any girl you meet at Cocaine Anonymous. She won’t do drugs with you.

48. Avoid any girl who you never found attractive before but suddenly looks hot. You’re drunk.

49. Avoid any girl who tells you she wasn’t interested in you when you first met but has now developed feelings for you. She’s just been dumped and is desperate.

50. Avoid any girl who buys you shoes for Christmas. You will return them for ones you like and she’ll hate you forever.

52. Avoid any girl you meet at an office party. She is your boss’s wife and wants to hurt him.

53. Avoid any girl who knows the names of all the bartenders in more than four bars. She’s out of your league.

54. Avoid any girl you meet near the Conde Nast building. She’s writing a book and you are going to be in it if you don’t watch out.

Bonus Round: Avoid any girl who tells you that you are emotionally unavailable. She’s got your number.

[Apologies to the obvious candidates. You know who you are.]

What if today were Gawker's last day on earth? (Answer: I crawl back to the pathetic marketing agency I came from)

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 15:02:08 -0500

soupsoup:

jdel:

fek:

jakoblodwick:

Imagine if you woke up tomorrow and it was gone.
Would your life be different, at all?

Reblog your answer.

Ah, but here’s the thing: if any of us were gone, than you, or you, or you (Tumblrs) wouldn’t make a difference in anybody’s life. You’re a Tumblr feed.

Gawker provides a service. Gawker breaks news. Most people on Tumblr - like me - post totally irrelevant and arbitrary snippits (not even full details! “The blog service for busy people” my ass. You’re just too goddamn inarticulate!) that maybe someone else will reblog. But let’s face it, half the shit reblogged on Tumblr is shit that everybody sees.

Besides that..I’ll say it before and I’ll say it again: good blogging is hard. Gawker’s writers are of a different caliber. Try to do their jobs. I dare you.

And besides that, some people on Tumblr’s lives would be exponentially different if not for Gawker. People on here wouldn’t know who Alex Balk, Doree Shafir, Jessica Coen, Choire Sicha, David Karp, Jakob Lodwick, Julia Allison, Ricky Van Veen, Peter W. Knox, etc. are. These people are semi New York-infamous, and wouldn’t be - for better or for worse, and I’m thinking for worse, because any publicity is good publicity - if Gawker wasn’t around. And here’s the rub: most of those people have more than 15 minutes left.

Finally, what Gawker does, nobody is doing better. And if you weren’t reading Gawker, you would be reading the others - the absolute fucking dreck - and you would be fine with it all the same. And you would continue to lie about reading it.

And in the spirit of Gawker, I call total bullshit on anybody saying otherwise.

Well said, not to mention if Gawker were to disappear, someone would have a hell of an opportunity on their hands.

If it didn’t exist, someone would have to create it.